I apologize for the length but I'm in need of some serious advice. So just to have some background info, it's just mom and her son in this family. Mom had her ovarian eggs frozen at a young age and had a baby later on in life (in her 50's) via artificial insemination. After 5 miscarriages, she had a miracle baby boy, alex. Mom works from home in marketing. Her parenting style is beginning to cause issues. She does not believe in discipline. My first day nannying for her, alex was throwing food on the floor, telling me to shut up, and spitting on me; so I of course corrected him as gently as possible and said that this actions weren't nice and that he hurt my feelings. Mom immediately came out to hug him and let me know that she does not like anybody correcting alex besides her....Since alex is in his terrible twos phase, she'll sometimes lose patience and yell at him but will quickly apologize to him and cry out of guilt. She once spanked alex and felt so guilty that she punched a hole in her wall. Another perfect example, 2 days ago I was feeding him breakfast and he began throwing his food and screaming that he wanted ice cream for breakfast, I of course told him no so he proceeded to hit me and began screaming for his mom. She came in the kitchen and immediately made him an ice cream cone... she does little things like this allll the time and at first I tolerated it but now it's getting exhausting. I can't give a rule out without this little boy throwing a tantrum and asking for his mom (of course since mom lets him do whatever). If alex doesn't like what's for dinner, mom will make 4-5 different meals until she finds something that he will eat. Anything that alex refuses to eat is thrown away. It honestly hurts my soul seeing how much food is wasted at that house. If alex falls, trips, or bumps into something she takes it way out of proportion. Same with tantrums, I have learned through experience and other moms that when a toddler throws a tantrum, the best thing to do is wait it out and let them release that frustration. Alex's mom has ended important business calls before in order to run and see how she can cheer up Alex in the middle of a tantrum. I'm never allowed to take control. Alex attends daycare twice a week and she switched him to a different daycare all because his previous daycare teacher was giving him regular milk instead of organic and because alex always cried when she dropped him off in the mornings.....The most frustrating part is that 70% of the time she's free but when she has important conference calls and Alex screams for her or throws tantrums she gets annoyed as if it were my fault for not being able to controlling her child but I'm given no power to discipline whatsoever. At this point I don't know what to do... the money is good, she's super nice to me and treats me like a second daughter but her "gentle parenting" and "no discipline" tactic on top of the terrible twos phase and me not being able to execute control is driving me insane. What do you guys think about all this?? Please let me know!
Need help dealing with spoiled 2 year old!! I'm stuck!