I don't want to be a live in nanny anymore!

I feel horrible, but I can no longer take having to be a live in! I'm a nanny to fraternal twins that just turned 3. I started about three weeks ago and I've just been not having the best time. I think mainly with the whole live in part. I work Monday-Friday and occasionally work Saturday morning. Family is super nice...but I miss home a lot. I'm 24 years old and I've never been so stressed out before. The kids refuse to sleep in their own bed, so they want to always sleep with me, basically I get no sleep. I have to be up at 6 in the morning, make the kids their requested food (homemade pancakes, or eggs, yogurt with fruit). Which I don't mind, but I feel rushed because they have scehldule activities that I need to get them by. They don't listen to me at all and they're always having tantrums if I say no to them. The boy in particular will scream bloody murder if he doesn't get his way and it's stressful and cave in. I'm always running around to different places with the kids using my own car (which is okay) but they never give me gas money. So it's about $80 a week I put in because I have to take the kids to all these activities. I'm suppose to be getting breaks...but the breaks never seem long enough as I work more than 12 hour shifts. I'm so stressed out that I'm sick (I can't eat much when I'm there, constantly feel like I want to vomit). The mother signed me up to do volunteer work at a farm(which she never told me about). She literally told me the day before it happened that the kids are the ones volunteering which would only be once a week. I don't mind helping as it's always been my dream...but this one is crazy. I have to take care of an additional 8 kids (watch and make them snacks). If I'm not watching the kids I'm helping out on the farm. Their originally nanny is moving back to her homeland in two days, and won't be back until November or January. I like the family, but I don't think I can handle this anymore. They want me to stay long term and I feel bad...but I just feel overwhelmed. I hate disappointing everyone... Should I quit once the originally nanny returns? I would be giving 2 weeks notice and all that.

Comments

This is a horrid situation! Number 1, she cant volunteer your services. Second, they have to reimburse gas. And if kids sleep with you, you need to charge your hourly rate around the clock. And in many states live ins qualify for over time. Either way, this sucks. You need to quit

Hey, thanks for taking the time to reply. I don't feel as alone or as bad when others have pointed things out for me! Thank you.

Short and sweet. You need to quit and not feel bad one bit. The family is obviously taking advantage of you. No nanny space that is kid free, they sleep in your bed, this is your job not your family. Using your own car and gas is also super cheap of them. Do they think you get free gas?
The other nanny may have been used to it or they may have treated her differently and are just trying to see what they can get away with. I hate working for families like that. If it's not good for both parties I move on.

Basically... The nanny I'm replacing never drove and she is a family friend. She gave in to these kids so much that it's hard to get them to do anything.

This mom is definitely taking advantage of you! Does she know the Kids sleep with you?? I would stop that Now. Six a.m. is early! Three year-olds should not be getting up at 6 a.m. Most businesses do not open tll 9 a.m.
Sounds like she signed You up for the farm because she Does not want to be involved with her own kids at all. Why does she have 2 nannies?? Did you replace the one that moved? You lost me on the other nanny returning?
I also would save All Receipts for field trips, lunch, etc. and Give them to the Mom, stating you need to be reimbursed. No nanny really knows what a job is going to be like Before they start, even when you Live Out!
Some parents do not want to be with their Own Kids and that is sad. I quit a job in August just like what you are describing. The grandma took her two grandkids on when they were born; now ages 2.5 and 4. She hired me in May to help her as she has bad knees, is 69, and cannot run and catch them. It was her idea to go, go, go every day, somewhere. She could not stand to stay in the house with these two Hyper boys, thus we had to go somewhere everyday. She spent a Ton of money on museums, play places, swim lessons, Science camps, matching outfits, and also bought a $40,000 dollar van to haul these kids around. I was their 3rd nanny! Now the oldest is in Pre-K, 4 days and the 2 year-old in preschool two days just to give herself a break. She pays the nanny from her own money, which is nuts! I got a chance to quit August 1 when the preschool started, Thank God! I will never assist a mom or grandma again especially a hyper one. She kept saying how the kids parents made 6 figures;$100,000 per each parent, yet she paid for everything! Now the kids mom is pregnant again. I told her no thanks when she asked if I wanted the job for the new baby!
Nothing is worse than being in a job where you feel you cannot cope and this job is way more than I expected. I would start looking for another nanny job Now. When you find one, tell Mom this is way more work than she described to you and multiple kids and multiple activities every day, no privacy, plus You spending your money now and you driving is just Way too much. Plus you are responsible for all these kids and their safety. What if you get in an accident? Who will pay for your car repairs? I see tons of ads on Care.com that state drive my kids to school, classes, sports, etc with the nannies car. Do not do it. Ridiculous and WE do not make enough money for this. My insurance company told me No, they would not cover me If I carry a nanny families kids in my car. So you need to think about all of this and make a list and have a meeting with the parents after the farm trip. Find a job to replace the money Now, then give a two week notice, no more, or it will be Hell to work there longer than two weeks, after you give notice. I have done that also and was miserable. No more 3-5 year-olds, they are too much. Lock your bedroom door tonite! Maybe older grade school-aged disciplined children. Good luck and keep in touch with us and let us know what happens. Good luck and keep your cool. miss pat

Don't group all live in situations together. Some are great.

Hi,
Yes I replaced the nanny till January. She is from Africa so she stays 6 months in Africa then 6 months in America. I'm glad I'm not the only one that's ever gone through this. I'm sorry you as well and glad u are out! I'm honestly considering being a regular nanny with live out option, and like u older children. I hope the family doesn't get mad at me...but my sanity is more important.

I'm gonna start off by saying there are definitely things going on that aren't okay however to say that no one should be a live in Nanny is wrong. I was a live in Nanny for over a year for three kids under 4. 65+ hours a week, all cooking, laundry, cleaning etc for both the parents and children. Literally for everything related to the children classes, appointments. I made $10 am hour but lived in a beautiful home. When I first started the first month and a half were rough. Especially the first few weeks. There were nights I cried over things that happened. The kids behaved like spoiled brats, refused to eat, acted out so badly in public and thought they ran the house. Their old Nanny and I did a 3 week overlap so I could "learn" from her. As soon as she left I completely changed how the house was ran. I made it very clear that I would not deal with whining, bad behavior or attitudes. If I asked them to do something they did it period. The first week after the Nanny left the kids were having dozens of time outs a day but I knew I had to put my foot down. As the months went by the timeouts became rare and then non exisitant. You are in charge and need to put your foot down. It takes time but it helps. You also need to do the same with the parents. Especially with using your money for gas. Anyways this job very quickly became the dream job. The bond I developed with those kids is beyond words. Something only live in nannys get to experience. A year and a half later I had to quit to move with my partner across the country. It was the most heart breaking thing I've ever done. I loved those kids more than I ever imagined possible and to this day I still get a tummy ache thinking about them holding on to me begging me to stay. Needless to say try and stick it out a little longer if you're not totally set on leaving. It's truly a once in a life time experience and you may too end up loving those kids.

Hey,

You're story seems awesome and I'm glad you and the kids got along. I love the kids I watch...but unfortunately I feel as though the negatives outweighed the positives by a long shot. I feel as though I shouldn't have to sacrifice my own happiness for others anymore. I know it sounds horrible, but too many times this has happened to me where I'm not happy at all. I don't think it's fair to the kids either, if I'm miserable inside because the job is not working out. It's selfish for me to stick to a job I don't like, when there could be a REALLY awesome one out there for them. I just want the best for the kids...and I don't want to hurt anyone, y'know? Thank you for the response!

Made a post about live-in situation a couple of day as ago. Decided to give my resignation tomorrow...but I'm so scared the family is nice and all, but this is NOT working out for me. My heart is pounding and I feel like I'm about to burst in tears! Their former nanny I'm replacing won't be back till January and I can't wait that long. I'm so afraid they'll be disappointed but my anxiety is through the roof living here that I cry every single day, as soon as I'm not around the kids. The parents keep saying I'm part of the family now and blah, blah, and I feel guilty with what I'm about to do. How do I go about doing this? I started 3 weeks ago, and I can't take it. Is giving 3 weeks good enough? Please help!