I'm losing my MIND.

So my nf is moving into a new house that will not be ready until September 9th. So they are living with their cousins (that I also nanny 3 days a week). For the other two days, they have a friend's mom watch the cousins. Instead of giving her the month off, we're just both here for those two days each week. It's been 3 weeks already and we're both unbelievably sick of each other. She babies them (5, 4, 2 and 2) and does EVERYTHING for them. Everything I ask my ft nanny kids to do, she undermines me and tells them they're fine and don't need to listen to me. The cousins are very sweet and well behaved normally but know they can get away with everything with her so they are unbelievably awful. I've done a fairly good job of biting my tongue and doing my best to not step on her toes but it just makes me crazy to see these boys acting this way towards her - hitting, screaming, being completely disrespectful, etc. - so I said something, tactfully and tried to make a joke of it this morning and she completely flipped out. We got into it -__- it's just been very difficult being here with her and I've tried my best to stay out of the house as much as possible but there are definitely times we all have to be here. Like for nap time. I have a good routine, the kids listen well and go to sleep fairly quickly after I lay them down. She comes in "late" almost every time and SHHHes the cousins very loud and obnoxiously for the next literally HOUR until they either give up and fall asleep or she gives up and lets them come out.. usually it's the latter. Everything is so difficult and dramatic with her. I've never met another adult that stresses me out as much as she does. Like I literally find myself taking extra time in the bathroom or when picking out the kids clothes or whatever other chore I'm doing in another room away from her because it's so awful. I know there's only a few more weeks and it's just something I need to trudge through... it's just been VERY difficult. Ugh.

Comments

So when she's there for two days who is responsible for the cousins? If it's her, I'd be hands off with and redirect them to her if they come to you for help.

I had a similar issue where an nk I had from 1-5 started school. She only went to school one day per week, but on Fridays I had her baby brother and other share kid. So her parents got her a sitter. NK was used to me and would come to me for help. I always sent her back to the sitter with an "x is your nanny today. check with her"

It made things easier. Cousin's nanny maybe be resentful towards you. Especially if she feels you usurped her position. Talk to mb to find out who is in charge of cousin kids those two days. So it doesnt become a "too many cooks situation"

Sorry Chels that sounds bad.

I'd be out as much as possible. Can you wait for nap time until she's got "her kids" down? Or can you guys split rooms for nap time?

Sorry.

I have the same feelings when grandparents come and I just keep telling myself it's temporary it's temporary