How to quit/opinions!

Hi All!
So I've been working with this family for a year already and I'm absolutely miserable, I already found another job and it's secured I'm just waiting to hear back for the start date. I want to know how much notice I should give?! So here's a little background on the family.

I take care of 2 girls- E-14 & S-11. When I started they told me I'd have a split shift so I'd come in an hour in the morning and then walk their 90 pound UNTRAINED (which I obviously didn't know at the time of being hired) chocolate lab every 3-4 hours. My hours would be 7-6, MTWF and 7-9 TH, (until the beginning of July, I started in April) again with time off in between. Everything started off great and as time progressed I realized that they started taking advantage of me and my time. The dad would come home and relieve me but I started noticing that he would come home late and not notify me, he wouldn't text me or even give me an apology as to why he got home late and it's been like this for a few months now. So after July I'd work thursdays only until 6, I remember it was a Wednesday and the dad told me that night he got home, that he needed me to stay until 9 the following day bc he was going on a business trip and his wife wouldn't be home until then to relive me. HE GAVE ME NO NOTICE but the night before. He said that it should be fine since I used to work Thursday's until 9 so it would compensate for those hours....WHAAT?! On normal weeks he should be home by 6 but he'll be home 6:15, 6:30, 6:45, 7, they've even gotten home as late as 7:30, again with no notice or extra money.

My duties are; pick ups/drop offs, cooking, laundry (just for the girls) and walking the dog. To begin, I couldn't walk the dog bc he would LUNGE at everybody that walked by, so I started just putting him in the yard up until now they haven't told me anything but the dog is so unruly no have no idea how anybody could walk with him.

I do so much driving for these people bc the girls have activities everyday, I use my own car and they don't give me any extra money for gas. What's worse is that When I started I had a little white car from 1997 it was old but got me from point A-B, they were ok with it until winter rolled around and they decided my car wasn't "safe" the dad then told me, if I couldn't get a new car, they would lease it and I would have to pay it off. IN WHAT WORLD DOES ONE PAY FOR A CAR THAT WILL NOT BE THEIRS?! I ended up getting a new car on my own but I was not going to give them the satisfaction of paying them. I had a feeling that the older girl was embarrassed to be driven in my car so that's also a reason why the parents wanted me to get a new car, they live in a small town where people have a lot of money so I can only imagine that being the reason why.

I know a nannys duties are to clean up the kitchen after cooking, which I do- religiously May I add, but the dad always has something to pick on! "There was food in the area you cooked, (which had to be someone after me bc like I said I clean the kitchen religiously) the plates inside of the dishwasher were placed the wrong way, all the forks and knives were all over the place (there's one thing with being organized and then there's being OCD) to top it off, it's not the mom telling me this, ITS THE DAD! Something always bothers him, he's always picking at something, saying something, it's really annoying. He's even gone as far as to text me an hour after I've left to tell me that there's a pot or pan that has food underneath it.

I usually work M-F but they had asked me if I could work for them one weekend TH-SU bc they were going to Italy and couldn't find anyone. This was Mother's Day weekend. I slept over 3 nights and they only paid me $300! What's worse was that they never sat down with me to discuss that weekend and then the dad wanted to play dumb with me when he handed me the money and said $300 right? That's what we agreed on? I was furious!

In the year that I've been here, I haven't taken a single day off but it seems to me that every time that I try too, someone can't take the day off or come home early. It's their job to figure it out if I can't come in, right?

E- is really bratty, which can be related to her age. The biggest problem is that her parents let her do whatever she wants so she thinks that she can do the same with me, if I say no her parents will say yes, S- is so easy going and listens to me but I have to repeat myself 20x so E can listen to me and then she tells her parents that I favor S. which isn't true it's just that she doesn't listen to me!

All in all I only get paid $600 no more no less. They haven't given me a raise and every time I try to let them know I've been there more than a year, they change the subject.

I'm so tired of being unappreciated, I go above and beyond for them but they just don't care.

What do I do?!

Thanks for reading this essay! Haha



Given the lack of respect, unnecessary complaints and low pay since you have a job lined up I would collect your paycheck on the last Friday before new job starts cash it to have $ in hand and than send a text saying you will not return. No need to give notice to people who treat you like that

You can really only do this if you have zero intentions on using them as a reference. Gaps in a resume will bring questions and when a new employer finds out you up and quit it will reflect poorly on you. Yes they treated the nanny poorly but it's up to us to be professional even when facing unprofessional treatment. Two weeks notice is standard, unless the job is dangerous, is becoming bad for your health, or they haven't paid you there's really no good to come from walking with no notice.

I was split shift too ... it is/was HORRIBLE ... I gave my notice almost 3 weeks ago ... my last day is Friday ...

The first year I was paid less than minimum wage (less than $8/hr)...

I was about to quit, but I got a raise ...

But yes, being unappreciated and being oncall 24/7 is a horrible way to live...

I would at least give 2 weeks notice. I gave 3 weeks because it just fit with the timing ... he was away at a school trip and I wanted to stay until the end of the school year (for the kid) ... you never know ... they may be pissed at you and ask you to leave immediately ... so be prepared (but it seems like you can start at any time with your new job) ...

I won't comment on everything because you've already done what we would all advise, you've found a new job! Take with you the lessons learned from this poor fit where you were taken advantage of. Establish a contract so your hours, pay, and benefits are spelled out and discuss their need for backup care when you have an appointment or are sick.

As for how to quit, you set a meeting where children are not in the room and you tell them "I've decided to go in a new direction and have accepted a new position. My last day working for you is_____ and I hope we will be parting on good terms while we make this transition."
Simple and to the point, I've never once given a truthful answer as to why I'm leaving because there's no need to open the door for discussion, negotiations, or hurt feelings.

Just quit. Don't agonize over it. Get a start date with the other nf (and contract) and then write a notice of resignation to this NF.

For your new family, write out your duties, pay, benefits and include all the necessary things. Make sure mileage is paid and guaranteed hours.

Two weeks notice. Tell the new job you must have at least 3 weeks notice to start so you have enough working days left to give 2 full weeks notice.

You don't owe them anymore than that. Write the letter, tell them in person on paid day when you have your money and hand them the letter.

Tell them you can discuss it on the next working day during work hours if they want to chat.

Be prepared to be let go.

Don't bring anything up from your list of grievances- leave on a professional note. Just use what you learned to start your new job in a new way. You know what works for you and what doesn't. You know to speak up kindly if a boundary is crossed ( lateness, not being paid mileage)

Good luck at your new job

I'm surprised you've made it this long. They're treating you terribly and especially if you have a new job then forget it. I would give them the amount of notice that works best for you. If you've got 1 week before you're new job then give them one week and tell them why (you gave some great reasons above). It drives me crazy that people feel like they can take advantage of their nanny. Let them know you have too much pride to be treated that way