Behavioral Issues 3 yr old... Leave or stay?

I'm sure every nanny has dealt with this at some point. I've never seen a child misbehave so badly. I'm currently a live in nanny to an awesome family. I care for 3 little ladies... 9 yrs, 3 yrs, 8 months. I have my hands full! I have the worst problems out of the 3 yr old. She throws these raging tantrums over the simplest things. The parents discipline her when they come home from work...usually around 6:30 in the evening. I dont find this method effective because she's being punished for something she did nearly 10 hours ago. How does she even know what she's in trouble for? I've expressed to the parents several times that I've tried different approaches. The child is extra smart, so she knows better. I just dont know why she does this. We stay on a daily schedule, including learning time and outdoors/indoors exercise and play. The situation is getting worse as I'm finding myself miserable. We have good days and bad ones. Some days she screams blood curdling screams for no reason. And these tantrums can last up to an hour if I don't try to coax her or let her have what she wants, which I try not to do. I've tried the good cop, bad cop routine. Incentives, treats, removing privileges.. you name it. Last week, I was so stressed, I had a panic attack while I was on a date with my fiance. I ended up in the emergency room. I have high blood pressure, as I am a diabetic. So my health has now come into play. I cannot continue to try to manage this child's behavior if it is gonna kill me. The parents are really nice but I think I have spoiled them.Some days I spend 14 - 16 hours with their children when my original agreement was to work from 7-5:30. Im too polite to say no.. but im starting to feel like I need to move on. I dont want to put them in a bad situation. .i would give a 30 day notice before I leave. But they rely so heavily on me and the kids love me. I also feel that the 3 year old should be evaluated. Please help! What should I do?!

Comments

Wow you do have your hands full! And it sounds like your health is in danger too. I'd definitely highly consider moving on to find a less stressful position. The 14-16 hours is ridiculous, and I'm sure the parents have you stay because they don't want to deal with the child and be the bad cop. A lesson to remember is to never be too polite when it comes to nannying. We are professionals first and foremost, not the parents' or kids' friends. I have learned this lesson in the past. When I became friends and too nice, they took complete advantage of me.

Learn from this and move on. Also, I saw that you are engaged - congrats! But having a stressful job is no way to start into marriage. It takes a toll on your husband too (believe me, been there!)

I hope this helps and best of luck to you in the future!

You are so right. I was just offered a clerical position with a fortune 500 company making close to twice as much as im making now. The only problem is...it starts in 2 weeks, and they request at least a 30 day notice. I dont know how to tell them. Also, thanks for the congrats and the great advice. I guess I should just put my foot down.

If you were working with any other job, a 2 week notice is what's required. If they cared about you they wouldn't be asking you to work 14-16 hour days when the original agreement was for much less than that. I would let her know ASAP that you've been offered a job working (insert hours here) making (insert wage here) and that if they can't match that, you will be handing in your two week notice.