Did I do something wrong?

This post will be long! Sorry haha I want to use as many details as possible. I work for an on call agency and As soon as I got to the families house the mom told me she was nervous because it’s her first time using the agency. I told her it’s fine and I understand. I told her I have five years of experience as a nanny especially watching newborns. She then was telling me to do things with her child that I have never heard of before. So I was asking her a lot of questions and asking her to show me the specific ways she wants me to hold the baby and feed him. She told me not to let him cry because it will cause brain damage and she asked me to tilt his head a certain way and position the bottle a certain way while feeding him. Again I have never had that request so I was asking her is this the right way that you want me to hold the baby and feed him.

She asked me to feed him, burp him and then put the swaddle on him. So I fed him and burped him and laid him on the bed for a few seconds to put the swaddle on him and she came in the room and was asking me why I had her baby on the bed and not elevated after he was eating. I said you requested me to put the swaddle on him and then I was going to continue holding him in my arms and keep him elevated. She left the room and the baby started crying about 20 minutes later she was talking to me through the monitor and told me to make him a bottle with the breastmilk and so I was trying to hold the baby and make the bottle at the same time but it wasn’t comfortable for me or the baby so I layed him in his crib and made the bottle as fast as I could and I got to the baby and was about to pick him up and she came in the room and said why did you lay my baby down and that she doesn’t feel safe with me watching her baby anymore and she wants me to leave. I told her I’m very sorry I am new to these requests that you’re making and I’m trying to learn and I apologized so many times and told her I wasn’t trying to do anything wrong. She kept criticizing my character and saying how come I don’t know how to swaddle her baby and I told her it was because I have never use this type of swaddle with Velcro before and there was so many flaps to be put in place and I usually just use a regular blanket so of course I wouldn’t know how to use the complicated swaddle. Again I apologized and she was being very rude and she told me to wash the dishes or she was going to call My agency and make a complaint about me. I told her that it is not my responsibility to wash dishes that were previously there before I came to the house. I then grabbed my things and went to my car. I also noticed she looked through my whole purse because every pocket was unzipped and open and even my lunch bag in containers.

Comments

I've seen you post a lot on here about the families that you deal with. What area do you work in? If you are able to, I would start looking for families yourself and stop agency work. I've never worked for an agency but from what you've explained, you haven't had much luck. I would try something new. Good for you for leaving when she asked you to wash her dishes. That's honestly appalling to me. Helicopter moms and parents don't get it. Luckily I've never had to deal with that. There is a somewhat uptight mom I occasionally babysit for who is controlling but she is very nice and they pay me very good money for the area. She just wants things a certain way. I don't mind babysitting for her but I could never nanny for her full time. She also only has one child who is her first and I think that makes a difference. First time parents just want to do things right. I know I'll probably be like that when I'm ready to start having children of my own. Like I said, you sound mistreated by a lot of the families you work for. Do you settle or do you try to spend a lot of time looking for quality families? Not trying to sound like a smart-a**. I'm genuinely curious because your posts are all about crazy families.

So i work in the seattle area in Washington state. I have found jobs through care.com and only had a few jobs that were amazing. The other ones were horrible. The families were abusive towards me so i had to quit. I thought me working at an angency was awesome because i could work for a lot of families and not be commited even thought i liked being with one family at a time. I just never knew how a family was getting jobs on my own because the first meeting during the interview was good and then after that everything changed and the parents were super rude and the kids were out of control even though i tried everything to fix it. I love working with kids and couldnt imagine doing anything else, but i know i would be more happy working full time with a family who i loved and trusted and they love me too! I just havnt found one yet.

You need to call the agency straight away and explain everything especially as she went through your bag, they need to remove her from their books and not allow anyone to go there again.
What a horrible experience :(

Babies that have regurgitation or spitting up are kept at a 30 degree angle, right after feeding milk for 20-30 minutes, after you burp them. Burp every 2 ounces or half the bottle, if it is a 4 oz bottle of milk. The Velcro swaddles (Summer brand) are easier and Should not have a lot of flaps, so I don't know what she is using? Sounds like a straight jacket, ha, ha. This is exactly why I do not work for moms Home on maternity leave or Moms "who work from home", (did that once) it's a joke. They spend most of their time watching you and criticizing. She paid a big fee to that service and they will find her another nanny, but it probably won't last. Do not do their dirty food dishes either. You were right on that and tell the service you are not a Maid. Also, ask if they have a nanny cam. You were also correct in asking her how she holds and feeds her baby as it was a newborn. I had a large camera on me the first month and the mother didn't tell me. She called me from work and asked why the baby was fussy?, and there is a package at the front door. What?, yeah, she was watching me from her cell phone while she was suppose to be working. She even had a camera on the front door outside and two 80 lb. rottweilers in the house all day. I don't care if they have a nanny cam or not. I am confident in what I do. Film away! If anything, moms would be jealous of me that I am loving and good to their babies. Pick a family with a toddler, they are more fun! miss pat (baby nanny)

No, she's obviously crazypants and screening for someone she can bully. Are you seriously questioning yourself here, or just venting? I hope it's the latter.

You didn't do anything wrong. You had a misinformed mom who pushed you around. In the future, I would make it crystal clear that she can leave written instructions if she has specific needs/baby has medical issues but that YOU are the childcare professional and work differently than the mom.

I also second the recommendation to leave the agency if they dont support you. Be more assertive. You're the pro. Don't listen to crazy hormonal moms ( even tho I'm the crazy hormonal pregnant mom).

I also dont work with stay at home moms.

Thank you all who have responded! Yes! Me working for an agency, I come in counter with so many families who dont agree with me. It’s super stressfull especially when i’m booked to work with a family for 8-10 hours and the parents are being “too much” or their kids literally dont want anything to do with me! Its so hard because im super sweet, nice and attentive to the kids and some kids, especially 6 months or older cry when i look at them or try to play with them. The parents always say its something wrong with what im doing. They say their baby likes to be held, cuddled and spoken nice to. I literally do all of that since its natural for me to do that.. hello! I love kids. Its not my fault that some kids dont take to me lol. I try my best. I just worked with a family who had a 6 month old and she screamed and cried when i looked at her or interacted with her. The last hour I was there she crawled on me and cuddled. So i knew it took her some time to trust me. I tried finding jobs on care.com before I got hired with my agency and it was hard. People were flakey and dishonest about their needs. When my agency contacted me I was happy but it obviously came with some difficulties. I dont know if this is bad but out of the 6 months ive worked ive had 5 or less families with kids who didnt take to me or parents who where unrealistic.

I am very confident in what I do. I have watched new borns-8 years old a lot. I went to school for early childhood education because i love kids so much. Ive had a lot of new parents ask me if i know how to put their child in a feeding chair lol or if I know how to feed a baby lol right then and there i know thay they are nervous and i try to ease their nerves by talking to them. Its just so different working with so many families. Some want me to give their children constant attention with no breaks and some tell me to sit and read a book and let their baby play by theirselves. It feels so odd to do that because im there to interact with their kids because I LOVE TO. So i never know what the parent expects. Each family is so different and i work with different families each day. So i can never get comfortable to how I usually work with kids because they will tell me to stop playing with them or keep playing with them. Its so confusing! I feel like at this point i’m just catering to the parents and doing everything they want me to do. I worked with a family today who literally told me to stop playing with their baby because they usually put a couple toys in front of her and have cameras and go and work in their office and she plays on her own. So i was like okay u just want me to sit and read a book the whole 10 hours im here? I legitimately want to play, laugh, and talk to your kid! Because its fun lol but me working with an agency i have to do as they say or they can complain which sucks. Thankfully my manager loves me (which she said) and knows who i am. She dismissed the lady who i spoke about in the original post.