Time to move on?

I began my PT position in Oct 2015. One dear child, then age 7, now almost 10. My responsibilities included picking up dear child from school, homework, transport to her various extracurriculars. I work for a single mother (she is a lawyer) in an Atlanta suburb. The job was very appealing initially. I worked close to 30 hrs/week and my starting pay was $10. No paid holidays or other benefits. Meanwhile, I was engaged to my longtime sweetheart. 9months into the position, Mom moved her elderly father in and I began caring for him as well, (mostly companion care and meal prep). Just prior to my 1 year, I got married and dear child was my flower girl. I discussed with the mother that my husband and I would be trying for a child soon, which delighted her as she is of advanced maternal age and her peers already have grandchildren. She was excited for her “pseudo grandchild.” I became pregnant Nov 2016, notified my boss to her delight. She was in the market for a new house and made promises to have a designated nursery for my son, and offered to allow me to bring my child to work with me. She hired my sister for elderly care for her father, and as my maternity leave replacement. Summer of 2017, she purchased and moved to a new home and allowed her long term boyfriend to move in. I gave birth in August. After returning to work just 20 days after giving birth, I found that I did not get my nursery that I was promised. I returned quickly because my maternity leave was not paid. (Although mother told my sister (maternity fill in) that she had intentions to pay my maternity leave as a surprise to me. However, she did not pay it.) My husband and I moved about 40 miles from my work, and when renegotiating my pay in Oct 2017, mother said she cannot pay me more and said she “didn’t tell me to move so far away.” I received a $1 raise and $10 gas allowance. So I am now making $13/hour with $10 gas allowance. My hours have been cut significantly as boyfriend sends me home early. I pick up dear child from school at 3, and he sends me home around 5. My child is made to feel a burden, I’m not allowed to dispose of his diapers indoors andhave to take him outside if he cries, as the live in boyfriend does not like babies. My son dislikes the car and screams the entire drive to work. He has aspirated his spit while screaming and nearly choked. His screaming is incredibly distracting and has me in tears as I drive to work. My family lives in the town I work in, so even if I chose not to take my son to work with me, he would still suffer an hour long car ride. I have expressed my son’s car issues to my boss but in her opinion, I am just “too soft” as a mother and will get used to the crying. It has been 4months. My husband is begging for me to quit. I’m torn. I make $100-175 a week, which doesn’t leave much after gas expense. I’m obviously attached to dear child, as she receives no attention from her mother or her mother’s boyfriend. She also recently broke her arm which makes me feel worse about leaving. My husband and I always planned for me to stay home with our son to homeschool his first few years. Also worth mentioning, I am a former preschool and Pre-K teacher with a CDA, first aid certification and extensive background in ECE. My boss knows this, she hired me because I worked previously at a private preschool that her daughter attended. Am I underpaid? I definitely feel undervalued. Should I leave?


Yes you should leave. You are underpaid and clearly not appreciated. I'm not sure why you have stayed as long as you have. You have so much experience and with a background in ECE you should be getting paid so much more. Search for a new position asap.

There are to many negative things going on there. One, is the pay, then location, then the people you work for. Yes get a job where you can bring your child with. And give yourself a good raise as you have experience.

Yes, you should definitely move on. It sucks to leave when you’re so attached to the kid but it is not working for you and your family and your NF certainly doesn’t seem to appreciate you. Even if you liked your job, it’s not worth it to drive all the way out there for so few hours and little pay! You are too qualified and deserve so much more. Plus, you’ve already decided you’d rather stay home with your son, right? If you can, do it! If you want a little money, perhaps watch a child at your home?

First off having to take your son outside like that astonishes me and is completely wrong.There are plenty of nanny jobs you can have where you take your son with you and you are respected and giving the hours that you need. I really strongly advice you to quit. You can still have a relationship with the young girl and end things on a good note with your employer. I would let her know that it’s in the best interest of your child to stay home with him. And if you still want to work you can find another nanning job that allows you to take your son.

I have not worked in a home with a Boyfriend Living There, but I have worked for two dads who worked from home. That is a Joke. Dad or boyfriend are lazy and watching what is going on and not really working. Found this out the hard way. I state Upfront on interview, " I do not work for families who work from home or grandma''s in the home. Nope. I have done that and been there. It is only Trouble! Sounds like he is taking over and your hours will be cut even more. I have never heard of a family providing a nursery for my kid. Just tell her you will not work for people staying home and No Live In boyfriends. I would buy a pack and play for your baby to sleep in, look for NB families Now, and Find a NB family who wants a nanny who has experience with babies and kids, and get out of there. See the writing on the wall. If she wants to support a boyfriend and let him run the house, then let her. Get out. Your husband is right and this is way too stressful for any nanny. miss pat

Hi ladies! Thank you for your advice. I gave my notice last Tuesday. Mom boss wanted me to stay and is referring to my leaving as an ‘extended break’ though I was clear I have no intentions of staying with the family. She ignored where she was to blame and kept the focus on my leaving because of my son. That’s fine though, as I didn’t expect her to take responsibility. I am staying until the New Year, then will be focusing on time with my son. I have not discussed my leaving yet with dear child.