How to deal with nice but chronically late

I started working for my current family 3 months ago. The mom and I get along great and I adore the baby I nanny but as employers, they're frustrating to deal with. The biggest issue is they don't respect my time. We originally agreed to salary but they were paying me hourly since they didn't work out the income withholding taxes with their tax guy yet. Thankfully they paid me extra when they were late but I never knew when I was getting off. Worst part was when they would come home early and act as if they were doing me a favor when really I needed my hours because while I love my job, this is my livelihood! So I braced myself and mustered up whatever courage I could and got them to see I needed salary as we agreed upon. But now it just means they come home late and I don't get paid extra. They don't even send a text letting me know. I had a clause in my contract (they haven't signed yet) saying my salary covers 7am-7pm which I explained to the mom at interview is for emergencies and planned arrangements and I should still be off at 5:30. That went out the window. The dad works most days at home but still won't come out of his office to relieve me on time. In fact the other day, he left 15 min after my scheduled off time and didn't arrive until an hour later saying he got some groceries. He hadn't let me know. The final straw is tonight, they asked me to stay until 9 pm bc they wanted to go out. I usually arrive at 7:30 each morning so this was a long day but I agreed since this was for an anniversary. Well 10 pm rolls around so I ask them if they're headed home and I receive a text saying they just got dessert. They don't respect my time. I like this job since it's so so close, pays really well, and I do like the family otherwise. But it's taking over my life and causing some strain on my marriage (I keep missing appts and our own date nights bc of my bosses). I want to keep this job but I need to lay down the law with being late. I have such a hard time with confronting employers esp when I like them(they will do nice things too like bring me lunch or round up extra 10 dollars on a check). I have written a new contract that gives 15 min grace time and then after that I charge time and a half. I'm 1. Afraid to talk to them about it and lose my job and 2. Afraid they will just pay the charges and still show up late. Any advice??? Thank you!


Salary Nanny jobs are technically illegal. You need to come up with an hourly rate, & then they can guarantee you a minimum weekly amount, whether it's 40 or 50 hours a week or whatnot, as that's usually the "norm", so that if they come home early, you're covered. Then, you should be getting time and a half for anything over 40 hours a week. Also, if they want you available from 7-7 and you're ok with that, then do a contract and have that in writing. But, if you're not supposed to be available outside of those hours, tell them you need advance notice, as you have a life as well, & perhaps do a surcharge/late fee for anything that's more than 15 min late, esp if they're not notifying you! They're definitely taking advantage and they're not going to stop until you say something, as they know they've got you. I'm sorry this is happening. Good luck and let me know if you have any questions!
: )

That's tough. I've never had an employer not respect my time. There have been late instances but I'm always given a heads up and then paid OT. What I would do is present to them your new contract. State the hours you are able to work again and make it clear. Next time they ask you to stay late for another dinner just tell them no that you have plans with your husband, friends, or you have an appointment. Start saying no. You can be a nice person and still be firm with your boundaries. After you sit down with them and present the new contract see if things change. If nothing changes then silently start looking for a new position. You need to work for people who respect you as a person.

I have been through the same thing as you. I got paid a salary for 45 hours a week that equaled to 13.33 an hour, fom 8 am to 5 pm M-F. The dad would work from home sometimes and wont come out of his office past 5. Sometimes i would have to call him to tell him it was time for me to go home, other times he would go to the stoee at 4:45 knowing i had to leave by 5, other times he would say right at 5 "i will take a shower before you leave" and i told him "sorry, i got to go now" then he said "i thought i could take a shower since you are still here" he didnt have any respect. One time he sent me a text at 4 am saying he needed me to go to their house right away since kid 2 wouldnt let them sleep! Oh my. I didnt reply lol
I dont know why people dont have respect towards us nannies. We do a lot for them, they always want to take advantage.

Salary is illegal for a nanny! There is no question about it! They need to pay you hourly WITH a guarantee. So you never lose wages when they cancel/go out of town /come home early/whatever reason. PLUS you need overtime. Anything else is unacceptable and illegal. Doesn't matter how nice they are if they are breaking the law/stealing from you. Because that's what that means when they disrespect your time. They're literally stealing money from you every time they're late. Or send you home early withOUT pay. Guaranteed hours are standard in this field.

At my last job it was the same thing. We had no contract, although the original hours stated were 7-6 The parents would get home whenever they wanted too, never text, never call and NO EXTRA MONEY. I too had salary (very low one btw). i ended up quitting bc of that and many other factors but usually these parents take advantage of you bc i mean you’re not gonna run out and just leave the kids. So def put your foot down and say we originally agreed to a certain hour or you can always make something up about you getting an afternoon job or doing something after your hours are up there if you don’t want to deal with confrontation. If the dad works at home it should be even more of a reason for you to be relieved at your exact time, bc Now they’re kind of acting like they don’t care about your time. I know you like the job but there’s many more jobs out there that will respect you.

Good luck with this! Let us know how it goes!