Decisions decisions!!! Help

Hi I’m a nanny for twins currently 20 months. I have a few issues and I can use some help guys.

A few months back the mom became confrontational over a lemon I left out. She asked me one morning hey did you leave this out? I said yes I’m sorry the girl weren’t feeling great yesterday and it totally slipped my mind. She said no problem just try to remember! I said ok I will. A few mins later she says and next time I ask you a question just either say yes or no I don’t need an explanation. This is just me guys I explain everything I don’t want anyone thinking I’m taking advantage or doing something out of bad intent. So it baffled me when she said that next thing I know she cursed at me and our voices escalated... she never apologized I was mad about it.

Next incident a baby sitter who was a teen put her cousin in a fridge and posted it on Snapchat which was so cruel. People are so crazy anyway I came to work one day and my boss printed the article and had it hanging on the fridge. I said is this forreal she said yes I said your really hanging up she said yes just in case people don’t know the rules refers to her mother in law and myself I told her I would never do something like that.

Ok so 2 months have went by I’m in a good space I change my attitude because I’m here to help the kids! She has never apologized to me but I know she won’t and that’s ok!

But here’s my real issue now I work from 6:15am 4pm or 11-7 depends on dads schedule 5 days a week and I only make 620 bucks a week for twins I do kids laundry meal prep for kids take kids out etc etc! I know for a fact I’m being underpaid and could make more I’ve been with them over a year I love the kids but the hours constantly changing and the lack of pay and the work load is leaving me working out! She gave me the 20 dollar raise back in June! so I doubt another raise is in the cards currently!! They aren’t bad people but I’m just tired I want to have a new job starting Jan but should I leave please help


Wow that's beyond disrespectful. It's seriously degrading. She should never treat someone like that who takes care of her most prized possession, her children! The first argument where she cursed would have been the last straw for me! It's great that you want to be there for the kids, but please lookout for yourself as well. It doesn't sound like a healthy situation. She sounds verbally abusive! I would for sure look for a new position. Those few incidents you mentioned are awful ways of her to treat you. They are also taking advantage of you $$$ wise. Definitely look around and good luck!

It's time to move's why:
a. mum has no respect for you and belittles you. seriously, what professional nanny or grandmother would put a child in the fridge and then snapchat it?! that's utterly ridiculous to post that as a reminder! you're adults, not immature adolescents!

b. you're being underpaid. you cannot yield on your value. $620/wk with twins under 5, been there a year, you work a sporadic schedule (so you have to be flexible because of this), and if you are driving the children in your car without gas/mileage compensation.

c. going off on someone over explaining about a left out lemon is just ridiculous. either she had a rough day with something else and took it out on you or she's mentally unstable. either way, it's a red flag.

you need to look for a position that is going to pay you your worth, or closer to it, and give her a two week notice.

think of everything you have going for you:

years total in nannying/childcare industry
cpr/1st aid and other certifications
educational background
your abilities with taking care of a home and children
your excellent common sense
your love and personalized/individualized care for children in their home
these things are part of your value and you need to be compensated fairly for that. a nanny is a luxury and should be well compensated by families for that individualized and personal in home care of their children.

i feel like this family is not a good fit for you because the mother doesn't value you and acts as if you're a complete idiot and only a mentally unstable person would allow a complete idiot to care for her children, right?! see my point? move on before the children get any older and more attached to you and vice versa. i am an attachment type caregiver but some situations you have to leave despite a bond with the children. hth!

I know exactly how you feel. I worked for a family for more than a year. They never gave me a raise even after I asked. They said they thought my job was an easy gig, that they just paid me to hang out with their 2 kids under 4 years old. They never viewed me as a nanny, more like a babysitter I had to ask for a raise since I worked 45 hours a week for $600. The oldest started preschool and they asked me to pick her up. They just gave me 20 every 2 weeks, and I had to ask for gas money if not they would forget. Then they brought a puppy and I would arrive there to clean up mess that puppy made. They asked me to let puppy out so he could go potty and let puppy in etc. Then they asked me to work more hours, 50+ for regular pay. so I quit after finding new job :)