bringing my baby to work- advice please!

Hello! I've been a nanny for this current family for almost three years. We have a great relationship and I genuinely care for the kids and I know the family cares for my little family as well. I bring my baby whose 8 months with me to work and I'm starting to struggle. I have a poor sleeper and a little explorer! She started crawling at 6 months and their house is in NO WAY baby proof!! They have a 2 year old but he was a totally different baby and we never had to baby proof for him. He was totally fine sitting down, not moving, and never wanted to pick up small pieces! I know they're a busy family of five but the small pieces of paper and crap that are left all over the floor every day is starting to drive me mad!! I can not safely put her down anywhere. And all she wants to do is crawl and explore. I have to clean up after them every morning when I get in the door. Food all over the floor and just crap from the older two (8&9) they have a cleaning lady but she only comes once every two weeks and they do not do anything in between the times she comes to clean. I'm getting so frustrated! My other issue is that because my baby is a bad sleeper, her naps during the day are important- she truly needs them. But every single day, every nap, she gets woken up. I asked the mom how I can put her to sleep with the kids around and she told me to turn on the tv and let the two year old watch tv while I nurse and put her down. So I do, but the two year old walks up to where I am and bangs on the door demanding more juice.. everyday! Lol not his fault he's two and the baby so a little spoiled, so I've been working on that. But the other two are big! 8 and 9 years old! I've tried everything to keep the kids quiet. She has two white noise machines where she sleeps. I've done everything to get the kids to stay quiet or play in basement and be respectful to her to let her sleep but they do not listen. If they Get mad at each other they'll start screaming and fighting with out hesitation. They're the type of kids you repeat the same rules every single day, over and over and over and over. My last issue is the way the older two are with her. I've been telling myself for 8 months "just be happy they love her so much" but after repeating the same thing a hundred times a day for 8 months straight I am loosing my patience! They are constantly fighting and kicking each other around her and putting her in harms way. No matter how many times I've talked to them about being aware of their surroundings instead of just automatically going to kick each other or fight. Every time we come to sit if the floor and play while the older two are there i say the same things about no figting, being gentle, not pulling on her, only kisses on the head not all over her hands and face, not picking her up, etc. but they don't listen and do all of it anyway. This is 8 months of me saying the same rules in every way possible. And they never ever ever listen, they do it anyway. I don't want to make this too long but I'm at a loss and I've tried everything and I am so sick of it and have been wanting to quit. But I'm so lucky in the sense I get to bring my baby and get paid. I don't know if I'm over reacting and just need to give myself a mental Check and regroup or if I'm justified and kids shouldn't be behaving this way and if they want me to be their nanny and come to my home they need to be more understanding of baby dangers. Please help!

Comments

Hey, mama! I have experience with this. I have a 1.5 year old that I have been bringing with me from about 4 months or so. I'm also currently pregnant again and dealing with severe HG. It is hard!

I think your situation is tough because of the older kids. Do they not go to school? Are they homeschooled? The two year old is fine. He can be taught. But the big kids need more structure. I would institute consequences for rough housing. Because someone could get hurt. Loss of privileges or electronics should happen every time they rough house. They also sound cooped up. Can they play in the yard? Is it fenced in? Do you take them to the park? They need to get the negative energy out!

Naps for your LO: is she sleep trained? By 8 months, mine was on a consistent 3 nap per day schedule. One of the naps inevitably happened in the Tula while the other kids were at dance class/other outings. Second nap was the longest. And it was when my NKS also napped. Third nap happened in stroller or swing while we did afternoon crafts or activities. The benefits of having other kids around him from a young age meant he could sleep thorough anything. Our neighbors literally pulled up their concrete this week. And he slept right through it.

Good luck!

Yes my baby live and in my Tula! Lol. She's a consistent sleeper at home but when we're at work she gets so thrown off. The older ones loose their electronics all the time and there's consequences every time. They couldn't care less lol. They go back to school soon. And I think would benefit from activities but they're not in any. We go out to parks or out and about pretty often for change of scenery. My baby is already down to 2 naps a day. She's just not a sleeper! The first one is usually in my Tula from being out and the second one I know she's exhausted but gets woken up. I also don't know what to do about the house! What did you do with your baby when she was crawling? I feel like I'm stuck because I can only reinforce what the parents implement for them. I took tv away for the whole day once for awful fighting and almost really hurting the younger ones and their mom told me that was too harsh a punishment!

With my son I made picking up tiny toys a game for my NKS. It helped that they felt ownership of him. They called him "our baby" almost from day one. In fact one of my NKs put her hands on her hips and lectured the UPS driver for ringing the doorbell and "waking our baby". Make cleaning up their job. Every single time. If they don't care about electronics, find out what their "currency" is. Do they like trips? Do they get TV? Movies? Friends coming over? All of that will be off the table. Set up a responsibility wheel. With required chores. And extras. They could get treats for doing extras.

Kids are sweet by nature. I mean, they have to learn mean spiritedness in most cases. So if you make it about taking care of their flock (you and baby) they will happily participate. I interchangeably say "our house". No matter which share house we're in. Or if we have to run to my house to get something. It's always a familial feeling. So keeping "our house clean" or "looking after our kids" it's all one and the same. Empathy has to be taught. So when they wake her up, talk about how tired she is. And how they hate being tired. Just don't lay on the guilt too much as it can backfire with kiddos.

As to the house, you could vacuum it when you arrive. And then make KEEPING it clean the kids' job. If they drop things, make them pick it up right away.

Set your own discipline 90% of my NFs are/were less strict than me. Kids can follow separate rules. If they say "mom/dad doesn't make us do x. Say you're not mom or dad. your rules are nanny rules.

For your baby, maybe it's time to go back to 3 naps. Sometimes babies give up 3rd nap only to go back to it. Try offering a second morning nap. As you know, sleep begets sleep. Offer the second one and see if she takes it. Even if it's less than an hour, it may help reset her. And get her more rested/ calm for the third nap. Or play around with bed time. When does she go down for bed?